Mentor Mentee

The school has this great plan that all the new first years should be paired up with a third year mentor, who theoretically gives them notes, old tests, and tips. As far as I'm aware, this isn't voluntary.

Now, it's my understanding that third year is pretty much insane stuff-things-into-your-brain year, so you can imagine how pleased these guys must have been to have the school suddenly going, "Guess what! Time to help a first year!" The class reps were already apologising in advance for the "duds," so it was clear that the yearly ratio of super enthusiastic mentors to can't-be-bothered mentors is not at all where the people in charge hoped it would be.

Their plan for matching us up was through a dress-up party. A happy hour date and time was set, and we were given a list that told us what characters to be. The idea was that, having no idea who your mentor was or even what sex they were, you would identify each other by your costumes. Some examples were Mr. and Mrs. Packman, Beauty and the Beast, sperm and egg, rainbow and leprechaun, sun and moon, Batman and Robin, Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf, angel and demon, Bonnie and Clyde, and ninja and pirate. Some of the ones for which I can't remember the pairing include an octopus, Oompa Loompa, and a shoe. So it was a pretty ridiculous party.

Picture an ordinary bar. Now picture 100 first years in silly costumes. Now picture 100 third years in silly costumes. Now put them all together.

My mentor didn't show up for ages. By the time I spotted her, it was close to the point where you couldn't move from one part of the bar to the other very easily: you were surrounded by a shell of people on all sides, and there was possibly one tiny channel through which anyone could move. It was a lot like a capillary: after detaching yourself from the glob of people, you entered the one way traffic and elbowed your way slowly through.

So anyway, one of the third years recognized my costume and brought me over to my mentor, who was too busy talking to her friends to notice me at first. Finally she figured out what was going on, and was pretty much like, "Oh, hi."

The one thing your mentor is guaranteed to do is buy you a drink. So mine is like, "I guess I better buy you a drink now," buys one, then tells me she forgot her phone. So I put her number into my phone, and she's gone.

I never heard from my mentor again. I texted her that week like she said to, but never heard back. So much for that plan.